Well I said that the next time I blog it will be about puppies and shoes and it is sort of, although my puppy is six years old and the shoe in question is mostly in her stomach. It’s not her fault, her dog walker’s had flu and she’s been cooped up for a bit, so I forgive her, plus it wasn’t one of my very best ones and now I have a reason to buy a new pair.

It made me think though how reliant I have had to become on paying people to help me out. I used to tease a friend of mine about her ‘staff’ telling her she was a proper lady of the manor – but actually I employ quite a lot of people now. It’s not that I am lazy or rich – I am actually the opposite of those things. Its just that there are only a certain number of waking hours in every day (although my baby thinks there are considerably more than I do).

When I do have some time when I am not trying to write a book with a baby on my knee whilst singing him my version of Copacabana (where everyone loves a banana) I don’t want to clean the house. I want to play with my baby and little girl, talk at length with her over every single dance move of The High School Musical trilogy and bake some cakes or something! After all I also pay people to look after my eight year old three afternoons a week after school and very soon my baby will be starting part-time at nursery. This is not the way I want it, this is the way it is. Granted I have my dream job, a job I love most of the time – but like most working mums I also have the bills and the mortgage to pay – still I do feel wracked with guilt on a daily basis, and what spare time I have is play time not dusting time. So I have a lady who comes and cleans for me. Apart from anything else it means I tidy up at least once a week in preparation for her arrival, which has got to be a good thing.

Why do I need a dog walker, you might ask? Walking a dog is fun – and at weekends I do walk her and I love it, although recently she has taken to making flying leaps into the canal for no apparent reason, which always results in drama because she seems to be the only dog on earth who can’t do the doggy paddle and results in another trip to the groomers (I pay someone to groom my dog too). but during the week i rarely get time to give her the exercise she needs. I have recently exchanged one dog walker for another. My first a surly teen who grew more monosyllabic as each week passed announced his retirement grimly just before Christmas – he has plans of becoming a rock star – I don’t think walking a poodle did his cred any good. His replacement is the same age but a good deal bouncier, much like the dog. I also pay for a personal trainer -I need to be shouted at, I’m not naturally drawn toward training shoes as they tend not to have kitten heels – and yet I still don’t seem to have the body of Angelina Jolie though….

If my budget as endless what else would I pay people do for me?

Pick up my clothes and hang them up. By the end of the day I’m exhausted – that clothes hanger just seems like a step too far.
Take my make-up off and apply a night cream – see above.
Drive me places. I don’t like driving. I didn’t learn until I was 35, its just seems wrong to be all these big hunks of metal whizzing along a high speed. I do like being a passenger though, that’s one of my best things.
Shoulder massage. One a day would seem like a bare minimum.
Deliver flowers daily – a bunch of tulips always gives me a lift.
Cook me healthy fresh food – I’m fairly sure the microwave doesn’t count.
Produce chocolate at a moment’s notice.