Snowdrops on lashes

My writing schedule works on one simple basis. I can get all the work I need to done on time as long as ABSOLUTELY nothing happens. This includes no illnesses, no power cuts, no Internet interference, no car break downs, no impulse trips to the shops to buy spam because for the first time since 1978 i fancy spam (the canned spiced ham, younger readers, not the nuisance electronic mail), no unexpected and lengthy phone calls from beloved but verbose friends who like to tell you long stories about people you don’t know and finally and most importantly NO SNOW.

Monday morning 7a.m wake to find world carpeted in a glittering garland of snow. 7.15 Lily my seven year old little girl wakes up.
‘Look out of the window!’ I whisper, all agog.
‘Oh yeah, snow,’ she says decidedly unimpressed, which is a symptom of her going on her first skiing holiday with her dad over Christmas. It appears that a seven year old can experience a surfeit of snow.
‘I means your school will probably be shut,’ I tell her.
‘Does that mean I can watch telly all day?’
‘I know, lets build a snowman!’
‘Can I have a packet of skips.’
It’s 7.30 in the morning you can’t have a packet of skips.’
‘Then why are you even thinking of building a snowman?’

And so it goes on. Anyway a couple of hours later and suitably girded, Lily in her skiing all in one suit (more of that later) me in a pair of leaky boots and a sheepskin coat that an eighties premiership manager would have rejected.
‘Let’s make a really big snowman,’ Lily says enthusiastically.
‘Yay, lets!’ I am prepared for a mother/daughter magic moment.
‘You make it, I’ll watch.
Lily does not watch. Lily rolls around in the snow. I am quite charmed by her rolling around in the snow so forgive her for abandoning the snowman project before its even begun. However it soon becomes apparent that under the lovely fresh snow she was rolling around was a message. A message left by a particularly large dog. (NOT mine. I am a responsible owner)
Gingerly we go in. Have you ever tried to peel an all in one ski suit plastered with poo off of a near hysterical child. You must try it. It’s a blast.
So we had an extra day together and it was lovely, poo aside. And we had Tuesday (Lovely) and now Thursday (LOVELY) and it looks like probably Friday too. And I love her being at home. She is a great laugh, she’s funny and smart and great company. She’s not that keen on my working though when she’s around and neither am I. I’m so busy most of the time that when she is here I want to be with her. So my precariously balanced schedule slips back a week.
Not to mention my lack of wardrobe. I have a small house. My house is so small that literally the whole thing would fit in the hallway of my friends house (Think flashy new build faux Georgian, fake pillared, gated community stoke broker pile). I’m short of storage so reluctantly I decided to sell my lovely Edwardian oak wardrobe and get a fitted one from Sharpe’s. For two weeks now my clothes have been piled up on my tiny office floor waiting for the new roomy wardrobes to come. I have been writing (or not) amid a cacophony of frocks, a confection of underwear, a hails of hats and a pile of shoes that nearly reaches the ceiling. (My house is small but there is always room for shoes.) Today was D day. Today my super dooper new wardrobes were due to be fitted but they did not come. Why?


I am so over snow.

Comments 16

  1. Oh no…. poo in snow, that is sooo not funny! (I tried my best not to laugh, honest.)
    I hope your wardrobe arrives soon, and that you get some work done again. Really looking forward to your new book this month! xx

  2. Eugh, not dog poo! Poor thing, how revolting.

    We had wonderful snow showers all day Monday when I was in the office, then nothing but icy roads on Tuesday, which caused chaos on the way to work. So very unexciting.

  3. No fun being a snow angel when the doggie doos are involved:-( I didn’t laugh, honest.

    And that 80’s football manager reject coat? I have it.

    Hope the wardrobe arrives soon.

    ps Spam? Spaaam?

  4. SPAM!! I used to love spam as agirl, although I think it is probably made of mechanically reclaimed connectivt tissue and possibly not all htat good for you. Bring back the seventies diet I say! Spam fritters, iceberg lettuc, salad cream – never did me any harm.

    Thanks for you comments guysx

  5. Gosh – I have that sheepskin coat too! Aw, poor Lily, romping in poo – I hope she isn’t scarred for life by the sight of snow, now. Good to have you back, Rowan.

  6. I think it’s a conspiracy by dogs to ruin snow. When I was about five, I remember picking up what I thought was a perfectly formed, ready-made snow ball. It turned out to be a hard white doggy poo. I’m still traumatised by it thirty years later.

    Hi, btw!

  7. I have been calling Borders EVERY DAY to see if they have The Accidental Family yet since you said it was going to be released February 2009. They keep telling me, “Nope, we don’t have it. Sorry” and then today I find out that now it’s not coming out ’til October??? I’m so bummed! What gives?

  8. Hi Angel – sorry the US edition isn’t out til October. You can probably get the UK edition from Amazon though? my new book MOMMY BY MISTAKE is out now and its lots of fun if you fancy trying that? Sorry for the mix up!

  9. Dear Rowan:
    I am one of your biggest fans. I am a young reader, and i read most of your Ruby Parker books. I just have one question:
    I can't find Ruby Parker stage star any where…. i read Ruby parker Holly wood star, Soap star and film star i still have Musical star, stage star and soon Shooting star. I really need you to help me out, because i rlly need to read ruby parker stage star……
    I hope i didn't disturbe you or anything… 🙂
    And just one more thing:
    I am an author too… except that you can't see my books any where but my laptop here!! I wrote one and i am still working on the seconde one. Soon i will publish them, and tell you all about them… I hav the feeling that we are going to be great author-friends!!
    With love; Reem The Author ;)thnx in advance 🙂

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